I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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