i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
