Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
