someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
