C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
