did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He did a backflip because drugs
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
