exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
