I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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