This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
