She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
