He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
