How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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