singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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