you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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