Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
