either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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