Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
