We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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