I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
