Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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