I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
