i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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