are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
