my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Let's get the cat blown out
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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