i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
