she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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