He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
