Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
