Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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