Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
