i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
