Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
