this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
