Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
