bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
