It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
