But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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