would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
