So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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