dude i'm inner monologue high
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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