: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
