Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
