New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
