I wannas sexs uuuuu
babies were throwing up all over the place
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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