Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
