I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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