I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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