Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
