are you so shy because you have an std?
babies were throwing up all over the place
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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