HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
