I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize