new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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